


these are my confessions

by slytherbyun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Fanmeet, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Inspired by Real Events, Introspection, M/M, Nature Republic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 12:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherbyun/pseuds/slytherbyun
Summary: All he wanted was to be sure that his hyung didn't hate himalternatively, the Nature Republic Fanmeet AU no one needed





	these are my confessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yamzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamzy/gifts), [wonseokie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonseokie/gifts).



> I wrote this on a whim because I rewatched the confession game. I have never written for Kaisoo even though they're my solid ship.
> 
> Warning: self-depreciating Jongin coming through.

The last time they went to a Nature Republic fanmeet, they had to play a game that involves animal sounds and them not laughing.

 

This time, it’s a confession game.

 

Jongin has seen this game—you have to tell the person that you love them, and they can respond with either an “I love you”, “I hate you”, or any variations of the answers. The member who laughs will be eliminated. He couldn’t help but giggle a bit; this was a game he wanted to play in public to entertain the fans, and of course, to be able to tell the world somehow that he loves his members—most especially one in particular.

 

They were arranged in their usual order, from left to right: Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jongin, Junmyeon, Jongdae, Minseok, Baekhyun, Sehun. The host was explaining the rules to the members, while he and Chanyeol would help as well. The first person to start was Jongdae.

 

“I love you,” he told Junmyeon.

 

“I don’t,” Junmyeon replied.

 

It went on like that for a few tries, and then Junmyeon faced Jongin.

 

“I love you.”

 

He turned to face Kyungsoo, but suddenly changed his mind. Everyone knows that they like making their hyung sweat, so he turned back to him and said, “I don’t.”

 

Junmyeon tries again, but he responds the same. When Junmyeon turns to Jongdae, he just says “I hate you,” and Junmyeon laughs. It’s a not-so-secret thing between all the members: in games, eliminate Junmyeon first, especially those with “try not to laugh” challenges. Their hyung is easy to make fun of, and laughs at the slightest things. He even laughs when Yixing makes the corniest and cheesiest jokes.

 

 _I miss Lay hyung_.

 

They proceed with the game, and the host asks Kyungsoo if he could start. Kyungsoo immediately looks at Jongin, and he feels the heat rising to his cheeks. When it comes to his hyung, he has no control over his emotions.

 

Kyungsoo turns to face Jongin. What Kyungsoo says is not what Jongin expects him to.

 

“I hate you.”

 

The look of disbelief was evident on Jongin’s face. He heard the crowd laughing, he saw his members losing it, but all he could think of was Kyungsoo saying that he hates him for a confession game. Jongdae was beside him, laughing at Kyungsoo, while all the other members were also laughing.

 

“I hate you too,” he said with the biggest pout ever.

 

Everyone started laughing again after that. The host tried to explain the game to Kyungsoo, that he should be the first one to say “I love you” and Jongin had the option to accept or reject his confession. Kyungsoo looked a bit guilty, probably because he sensed that Jongin felt bad when the first thing that came out of his mouth was “I hate you.”

 

When he saw his hyung put his hand on his arm, he stopped what he was doing immediately and stared at him. Even with his bald head, he still looked like an angel. Most of the members weren’t used to his hairstyle, and he had to admit, he took a while to warm up to it, but it gave him more opportunities to look at his face.

 

“I love you.”

 

He was caught off guard. People couldn’t see it, but he had that twinkle in his eyes that pops out whenever he does tell him that he loves him. It was a sweet moment because unknowingly (or knowingly, let’s face it, their fans are good observers), they let people in on a moment that they both cherished.

 

“I love you.”

 

Kyungsoo laughs and is out of the game.

 

_Typical hyung._

 

\---

 

Going back to the dorm was difficult.

 

The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Chanyeol and Baekhyun would definitely have a rough time patching things up after that confession game. They wouldn’t look at each other on their way to the cars—mind you, they took separate cars on the way back.

 

Jongin and Kyungsoo decided to go with Jongdae and Baekhyun. Jongdae was seated in front, while Jongin and Kyungsoo took the middle row, leaving Baekhyun at the back end of the car. The older one had his head on Jongin’s shoulder, both trying to fight the urge to sleep that would take over once they arrive at the dorm. Baekhyun was already snoring at the back, while Jongdae had his earphones plugged in.

 

They were seated with a comfortable yet awkward silence. He knew everyone was tired—it’s been like that every after event. They can feel their age catching up to them, except for Minseok who was probably the most energetic one out of the group (and he’s the oldest).

 

Something’s been bothering Jongin, and he needed to let it out.

 

“Hyung, do you mean it?” he broke the silence.

 

“Mean what?”

 

“That you hate me.”

 

If anything, Jongin was never confident about himself. He knew there were things he lacked in areas that would make for an ideal boyfriend, and he knew Kyungsoo was mature for his age. He still felt like a kid who had to grow up because he was already 25. He should try to be mature for his age. He still felt inadequate because he knew he probably doesn’t really fit Kyungsoo’s standards. They had a rocky start when they first met because he misunderstood Kyungsoo. He was able to make up for it, but it still left him feeling a bit guilty that he acted pretty immature in front of his senior.

 

“Nini, I didn’t mean it,” Kyungsoo whispered while sitting up to face him. He saw the worry in Kyungsoo’s eyes. He couldn’t help but look away from him, worried that he might have hurt him with what he said as well.

 

“Nini, look at me, please,” Kyungsoo’s voice was shaking, afraid of how Jongin was feeling. “Nini, please.”

 

Jongin finally looked Kyungsoo in the eyes, with tears brimming around his eyes. Their relationship was relatively new, with them coming to accept their feelings back when they were promoting Monster, but they only became an official couple before the comeback for Kokobop. It took a while to convince themselves that it was okay; heck, when the other members found out, they were all smiles and support for the both of them. They even allowed them to have the partner dance in The Eve (Jongin could hardly keep his cool while dancing with Kyuungsoo), and they had more interactions than before. Even with support from countless of fans and countless of friends, he still felt inadequate as a boyfriend, that even jokes such as that “I hate you” caught him off guard.

 

“It was wrong of me to tell you that I hate you. I panicked because we were in front of a lot of people, but I could never hate you,” Kyungsoo softly told him, kissing his forehead and wiping the tears away.

 

“I’m sorry if I made you cry…” Kyungsoo just hugged Jongin until he could calm down. He knows Kyungsoo felt bad, judging by how he’s taking care of him right now. He hated it when his hyung felt bad, especially when it’s because of his own insecurities.

 

“I was just scared that you do hate me,” he told Kyungsoo in all honesty.

 

Jongin heard a light chuckle coming from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo held his face dearly, almost as if it was a Da Vinci artwork. “I love you very much, Kim Jongin. You better get that through that thick head of yours.”

 

For the first time since leaving the fanmeet, Jongin smiled. “I love you too, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yay to my first kaisoo fic! Thinking of writing another one soon. Let me know what you think!


End file.
